The Funnel of Pain

I bought a cup of coffee today from one of those expensive coffee joints.  Which is a fairly stupid thing to do, cause it's expensive.  My coffee was extremely hot so I took the lid off to let it cool.  I then discovered with the lid off I can easily sip the blazingly hot coffee, without getting burned.  That's when it dawned on me the lid is just a funnel for pain.

It was probably invented by a disgruntled engineer, maybe he got fired from NASA and hired by a coffee lid manufacturer.  Anyway, the basic design of the lid maximizes the heat of the coffee while also maximizing the flow of coffee into your mouth.  This means either you have to wait half an hour to drink your coffee or develop a callous in your mouth to combat the heat.  Neither seem like good options, and considering our technological society you would think a more practical design for a disposable coffee cup could be created.

This event gave me several ideas for "Funnel of Pain".  Funnel of Pain could be a spectacular ride at an amusement park.  Think about it, get a giant funnel and let kids jump in.  Some grooves may need to be implemented so the children swirl around the edges, just like a penny in that funnel at the mall, and then they shoot out the bottom onto an air bag or into some water.

Funnel of pain could also be a good Japanese game show.  In this manifestation people would just stand at the bottom of a giant funnel waiting for things to come down and hit them.  The winner is who ever makes it the longest.  Can you imagine the suspense, the audience sees a bowling ball circling the funnel and the contestant has no idea whats gonna happen, or another contestant is cowering underneath, fearing a thousand sharp knives, only to be hit with a meatball sub.

Well if you know of an actual Funnel of Pain, whether it be a torture instrument, for medical use, or some where in between let me know.  If you have creative ideas for a Funnel of Pain, leave it in the comments.  I will definitely respond.


Apparently, the funnel is already an amusement park ride. However, it does not seem to inflict pain.  You tube video from a reader.


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