On a blanket from Taiwan:
Not to be used as protection from a tornado.
Warning on fireplace log:
Caution — Risk of Fire.
A warning on a pair of shin guards manufactured for bicyclists:
Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover.
Warning on an electric router made for carpenters:
This product not intended for use as a dental drill.
On a bottle of shampoo for dogs:
Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish.
On a hair dryer:
Do not use in shower.
On Marks & Spencer bread pudding
Product will be hot after heating.
On a string of Chinese made Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
On Sainsbury’s peanuts:
Warning: Contains nuts.
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions - open packet, eat nuts.
On some frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: defrost.
On a hotel provided shower cap:
Fits one head.
On Nytol Nighttime Sleep-Aid:
Warning: May cause drowsiness.
Warning on a cartridge for a laser printer:
Do not eat toner.
A wheel 13″ a wheelbarrow warns:
Not for highway use.
Can of self-defense pepper spray warns:
May irritate eyes.
Warning on a Conair Pro Style 1600 hair dryer:
Do not use in shower. Never use while sleeping.
Silly Putty package warning:
Not for use as earplugs.
On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
Baby stroller warning:
Remove child before folding.
Household iron warns:
Never iron clothes while they are being worn.
A fireplace lighter cautions:
Do not use near fire, flame or sparks.
A hand held massager warns consumers:
Don’t use while sleeping or unconscious.
Warning on underarm deodorant:
Do not spray in eyes.
Cardboard car sun shield that keeps sun off the dashboards warns
Do not drive with sun shield in place
Warning on a sharpening stone:
Knives are sharp, use with great care and with adult supervision at all times.
Bottle water label warns:
Twist top off with hands. Throw top away. Do not put top in mouth.
On a box or rat poison
Warning: Has been found to cause cancer in laboratory mice.
On a Domino’s Pizza box
Caution: Contents hot!
Toilet bowl cleaning brush warns:
Do not use orally.
An electric cattle prods warns:
For use on animals only.
A can of air freshener warns:
Keep out of reach of children and teenagers.
Cheap rubber ball toy warning:
Choking hazard: This toy is a small ball.
Caution on a package of dice:
Not for human consumption.
In the manual of a chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop the blade with your hand.
Stamped on the barrel of a .22 caliber rifle:
Warning: Misuse may cause injury or death.
Instructions for an electric thermometer:
Do not use orally after using rectally.
On the wrapper of a Fruit Roll-Up snack:
Remove plastic before eating.
A TV remot
e controller warns:
Not dishwasher safe.
On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
On Tesco’s Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
On Boot’s Children’s cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
On a Japanese food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
On a child’s Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
On a helmet mounted mirror used by us cyclists:
Remember, objects in the mirror are actually behind you
On a Taiwanese shampoo:
Use repeatedly for severe damage
On the bottle-top of a flavored milk drink:
After opening, keep upright
On a New Zealand insect spray:
This product not tested on animals.
On an infant’s bathtub:
Do not throw baby out with bath water.
On a Magic 8 Ball:
Not advised for use as a home pregnancy test.
On a roll of Life Savers:
Not for use as a flotation device.
On a refrigerator:
Refrigerate after opening.
On a disposable razor:
Do not use this product during an earthquake.
On a handgun:
Not recommended for use as a nutcracker.
On pantyhose:
Not to be used in the commission of a felony.
On a piano:
Harmful or fatal if swallowed.
On a child’s toy:
If this product exhibits errors, the manufacturer will replace it
for a $2-shipping and a $3-handling charge, for a total of $4.97.
On work gloves:
For best results, do not leave at crime scene.
On a palm sander:
Not to be used to sand palms.
On a calendar:
Use of term “Sunday” for reference only.
No meteorological warranties express or implied.
On Odor Eaters:
Do not eat.
On a blender:
Not for use as an aquarium.
On a revolving door:
Passenger compartments for individual use only.
On a microscope:
Objects are smaller and less alarming than they appear.
On children’s alphabet blocks:
Letters may be used to construct words, phrases and
sentences that may be deemed offensive.
On a wet suit:
Capacity, 1.
In some countries, on the bottom of Coke bottles
Open Other End.
On a packet of Sunmaid raisins -
Why Not Try Tossing Over Your Favorite Breakfast Cereal?
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